Dear Hallmark Customers:

As you may know, I work part time at a local Hallmark store. I love my job because it combines many of my favorite things: people watching, laughing at funny cards, Christmas ALMOST year-round, and great people. However, in recent days, I have felt the need to write a letter to the customers of Hallmark. You'll see why...

Dear Hallmark Customers:

Welcome to the happiest place on Earth. As you peruse the store, I would like to remind you of a few things:

1. Hallmark is the happiest place on Earth. Or at least one of them.
2. Just because you waited until 4 days after Mother's Day to buy a card, doesn't give you the right to be upset when we don't have the cards up anymore.
3. We were closed on Mother's Day, so NO, we were NOT able to put the Father's Day cards out for your viewing pleasure on Monday morning.
4. We do NOT do ear piercings. Try the Mall. Piercing Pagoda perhaps. Or Claire's. They may even have some sort of "Pierce one ear, get the other ear free" deal going on.
5. If your coupons expire, it's really not our fault. And please don't say "I wish you didn't even do coupons!" I'm sure you wouldn't have felt that way had we been able to take your coupon that expired 3 YEARS AGO!
6. When you are talking on your cell phone, try your best to make sure the whole store can't hear about what you're making for dinner and when your next manicure is scheduled.

Thanks,
Jamie